PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
