I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
There r osticjed everywhere
Is it penis luge time yet?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have feelings that need drinking.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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