you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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