just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Panties = found
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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