Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
