I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
it was like eating out sand paper
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We need to rekindle our bromance
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
