walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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