I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
