People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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