There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
