we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
