we're blogging at a bar
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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