I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
