Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you will always have a special place in my vag
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
