He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
