a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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