She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
