I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
