making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i believe in u and ur pee
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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