laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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