You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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