and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
