So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
