Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
