do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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