it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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