Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
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