did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
