no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize