Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Randomize
