she was so not down for the gang bang
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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