I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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