absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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