we have officially lost it.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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