Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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