i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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