so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
