I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
