And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
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It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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