does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
