Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
