dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
