All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
