I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
