Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
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