she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
