Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
