whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
