I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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