Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
