I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
