He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
