3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
are you so shy because you have an std?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
