I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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