She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
