He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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