In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
We need to rekindle our bromance
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize