I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
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