At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
