Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
