fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
